


Hollow

by Rainwater_Apothecary



Series: 10 days of Snakepei [7]
Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Depersonalization, Disassociation, Firefights, Gen, M/M, Shootouts, Trauma, blease just give junpei a hug, emotional manipulation recovery, trauma based reeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-11-02 06:25:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20651924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainwater_Apothecary/pseuds/Rainwater_Apothecary
Summary: Sometimes Junpei disassociates and wonders how much of what makes him 'him' was actually crafted by a little girl with the knowledge of all time.During a firefight isn't the best time to be asking these questions.





	Hollow

"Junpei. Pay attention to me, Junpei."  


The used up psionic stared into the distance, seeing nothing. Feeling nothing.  


"Junpei." Light snapped his fingers right beside his friend's ear and Clover looked over from where she was posted as lookout.  


The floor beneath them rattled and shook as the military Jeep ate the miles between them and home. The Fields had to get Junpei back to their house. He hadn't gone this far into the Morphogenic Field on a mission before and if he was being honest, Light was worried he wouldn't be able to get his fellow Receiver back.  


He slipped into his mother's maiden language.  


_"Junpei, Anata we're currently in Southwestern Canada. The mission was a success. I know what you do when you look like this and I need you to come back to me."_  


He waited until the brush of Clover's hair over her shoulder heralded that she'd looked away before continuing.  


_"I know that you are in there, Jun-chan."_ He heard his sister snort a laugh and start coughing. It was an inside joke between the lovers but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

_"You are not her, Tenm-..."_ He sighed and waited until a bump in the terrain gave him audio cover. 

_"Tenmyoji-Field. Now come back to me."_

It wasn't that the entity didn't hear 'Junpei's' lover, it was that they/he/she/it/them had no way to respond. 

The entity had emptied of their vessel.

'Junpei' didn't exist. 'He' had been emptied out by Akane. 'He' was just a puppet.

Wasn't 'He'? 

'He' remembers his mom and dad, and meeting Akane...But when had she taken control? What if 'Junpei' had been tamped down into the Morphogenic Fieldset and never let back out? 

Perhaps this 'Junpei' person was just a facade. An act. A mask worn by a little girl to save herself.

What if 'Junpei' had ceased to exist at the hands of Akane.

The entity curled in on itself as it floated, numb.

Had 'He' ever had a personality? An original thought? 

The entity remembered how it felt to feel nothing because 'His' puppeteer panicked. It remembered 'Him' blanking out.

_"You come back to me, Tenmyoji-Field."_

Like a lighter trying to click into a flame the entity felt itself trying to listen with unhearing ears. It knew that voice. That was a voice that 'He' had found as Akane.

Surely she hadn't meant for 'Junpei' to fall for a fellow player when her entire plan hinged on 'Him' loving her? Was this a feeling 'He' had had without her influence? 

_"We aren't gonna make it!"  
_

_"We will, we just have to rouse him!" _

__

__

Clover. Light. The voices that meant the world to 'Him'. Could the entity act like 'Junpei' again, just for a little while? 

But no, it _hurt_ out there. Akane could control the entity if it became 'Junpei' again.

It wanted to _feel_ for itself. It just didn't know if it ever had before.

It didn't know which way was up anymore.

One of 'Junpei's' hands closed gently around Light's finger like the hug of a newborn child. The frantic Receiver quickly bent over and gave 'Him' a peck on the forehead.

_"Come back to me, Anata. Come back to the person you wish to be." _

The entity ached to be Junpei. To be loved.

But what if it wasn't Junpei?

What if it had never been Junpei?

Clover reached over and smacked the catatonic agent across the face.  


'Junpei' opened 'His' eyes. They were still unseeing. 

Light gathered the downed man into his arms as the Jeep's inhabitants got ready to desert the compromised vehicle.

The entity continued to float, weightless and numb. Distantly it's cheek stung from the slap, but it didn't penetrate the entity's fog.

It wanted to be Junpei so much it would cry if it could.

It wanted to be the operative who had gone to school for marketing and made model airplanes in his spare time. 

It wanted to love on the puppy Clover had gotten him and his boyfriend as a therapy animal. It/He wanted to be held by his boyfriend and drift to sleep in the house they had paid for with their government wages. 

It/He still remembered the sting that his metaphorical wallet took to paying for a house, but he made enough money to recover. 

It/He was becoming successful. 

His scans showed that no one else was influencing his brain patterns. 

Maybe she was gone.

Junpei opened his eyes and tears flowed down his dusty cheeks. 

"I want to be Junpei." The entity, Junpei, croaked.

"I know, darling. I know."

"Can I be Junpei? Even if I'm not, Light? Will you hate me?" 

The small group of agents were hauling ass towards cover. Light gripped Junpei around his/its shoulders and beneath the knees. 

Wait, he/it had shoulders? 

It/he felt safe in these arms.

He/it wanted to make sure he/it's friends were okay.

He/it wanted to kiss his lover and protect his fellow operatives.

As soon as the small band ducked behind a pile of rocks and construction materials Junpei snatched his pistol out of the back of his waistband and slid around Light to open fire around some girders.

He was going to protect his friends and coworkers.

He...it dropped an empty clip and slammed a new one into his gun with the heel of his hand.

Junpei could do this. Akane hadn't been there when he'd learned to shoot a gun. She hadn't planned for him to drop out of the school she and Aoi had located him in.

She certainly wouldn't approve of him bedding someone besides her.

An enemy bullet ricocheted off of a bundle of rebar and showered sparks onto the side of Junpei's face. He ignored it and lined up a shot. 

No more enemy fire would be coming from that assailant.

Light tucked himself behind Junpei's calves and began assembling their long range radio. Junpei instinctively used the man's back and shoulders to brace as his every nerve and cell honed in on the traitors across the empty corn field who had sold them out.

He fired. They fell.

Clover adjusted the physical radar as her brother calibrated it. No one asked how the blind man could cobble together the compact piece of machinery, but he was the best among them. Clover knew the amount of time her brother had poured into being able to assemble and disassemble every piece of paperwork and technology that the outfit could ever hope to contact. At this point he could assemble a glock in less time than a seeing operative could. He didn't have the hangups of pausing to double check. It either felt right or it didn't. His muscle memory and enhanced sense of touch left no wiggle room. 

It was perfect. It was precise.

It was getting them out of here.

Another empty clip hit the packed earth at their feet and Junpei whipped out another from a pocket in his skinny jeans. Light timed the frequency scan to the timing of Junpei's shots. He knew them. He knew the cadence. He knew when a clip would empty.  


He turned the knob and hit the button.  


As the next clip hit the ground he had called their coordinates into the communicator and waited for the response. If all went according to plan, Junpei would lay down cover fire long enough for a friendly helicopter to lock onto their location. Junpei didn't have to shoot to kill, witnesses were a bonus. Junpei shot anyway. Clover ripped open a pack of gauze with her teeth and set about salvaging the minor wounds her team had gotten. Junpei kept the enemy on their toes or on the ground until Light's approaching helicopter could land without getting shot at.

Clover readied her own pistol and clicked off the safety.

It was time to go.

Light caught His/his hand._"I will not hate you, Junpei."_


End file.
